The bright sun belied her mood. Her mother continued to chatter, and then said,"Don't you and Bret have something planned for today?"That did it. The ...ention of Bret's name brought it all back — the horror of the night before. How could he do that to her? She thought he loved her. And worse the shame of her ... her what? Her stupidity at fucking Todd and then the finality of the end of their relationship upon being discovered by Bret. She had said she never wanted to see him again and she meant. There were, of course, a thousand other questions crowdingmy mind, but they'd have to wait. Right now, there wasnothing more important than this. I had to know.Still, I hesitated. The implications were overwhelming.What if my fears were right? What would I do? How could Iexplain this to Mum (Mummy) when she returned from AuntLizzie's (Liesa's)? Maybe she wouldn't even recognise me -nobody would, I'd changed so much. No one would believe mystory, they'd call me a liar, a freakshow. I'd end up in. I talked to a psychologist, for months, and began to learn to fight. To kill. Quickly and silently. Or to immobilise or disable. As I learned, I travelled. To Japan, to Thailand, to Israel, just learning different ways. I learned to use knives, swords, and firearms. To drive, anything. Wheels, tracks, air cushion. To fly. I went back to China. Tracked down each of the men who had murdered my father and abused me. I killed. All but one, the officer. He ... I blinded, pierced his eardrums,. I’m about sick of it.” “Well, don’t worry,” Jessica said in an attempt to pacify me. “I’m sure she will begin doing the same with you, now that you’re out of the house.” “So that’s it?” I asked. “She just misses you, is all?” “I’m sure it is,” Jessica answered. “And she’s proud of you.” It was stated more than asked. “There’s always that,” Jessica responded. “Why do I get the feeling that you aren’t being completely honest with me?” I asked my sister after a few seconds of silence. Jessica.
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In the evening I went to the terrace to smoke a cigarette and when I came down she asked me smiling what I went to do up there. I said nothing. She sm
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