It was her lack of confidence in herself as a lover. Sure she has gained some self-esteem. She felt alive and useful and confident in her recovery but...had never come to see herself as desirable to men. Her divorce most likely destroyed what little romantic self-image she had ever had. She wordlessly transmitted a signal to others that she was not approachable…unworthy…that she would probably dissolve into tears or would turn tail and rocket off like a deer if approached. It was her underlying. "Well, I think he enjoyed it, too." Monica joked, which made Eva laugh with her.When she stopped laughing, she continued, "But what really got me off last night was remembering watching you rubbing yourself and it even got better when I got to eat you out." Monica was taken off guard by this, as was Alma. Here was shy little Eva telling Monica that she enjoyed licking pussy as much as sucking cock. Alma thought that she needed to meet Eva sometime. Eva then had a suggestion. "I know you're not. I took his silence as the chance to ask him what with this note? you put in my back pack after about 30 seconds he said "i ment what i wrote" harvey walked up to me and gradded me by my t-shirt just above my belt i tried to hide my fear but he must have seen it becuase he said "i wont hurt you" i walked away from harvey and took a seat in the far corner facing away from him after about 10 minutes he came behind me and kneed down then put his hands on my waist i turned round and we stared into. But truthfully, I didn'tshare it. I was calm and physically and emotionally ready. As I lay onthe table Dr. Markov said something like, "You might smell onions orgarlic as I start the anesthesia." Onions," I replied, and then I was out. The next thing I knew I waswaking up in a recovery room.D: What was the first thing you recalled?S: I remember thinking, "Yes, they must be done." I tried to lookaround but I was flat on my back and I was too groggy and disoriented tosit up. I could only see.
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