We talked abit more, until she finish her cigarette, and talked somemore. Eventually we talk about fashion, and we say how nowadays young people dress...damn hiao and we said something like: Her: Eh so you think my dress tonight hiao anotMe: Ok la, I think on you doesn't look hiao, because you carry it quite nicelyHer: Really mehMe: Yea, on another girl would probably look like shit, but you have the right sexiness, confidence, and figure to wear it. Her: So not hiao laMe: Well, depends on. It was a miserable place to live."My father was an alcoholic. I don't blame him. When you don't have a job, what else is there to do? My mom was good-looking for a woman living in a park like this. She did what she had to do to pay the bills and keep my father in booze so he could forget what she was doing. I lost my virginity when I was barely thirteen to a black boy when he caught me down by the railroad tracks. I didn't cry rape or even cry. It happened and I put it behind me."A white boy. "What? You said she saw it all! She knows what goes on between us." We're not going that far, are we?" I was really getting a bad feeling about this. "I mean, we show her some things, right? Maybe she and I kiss a bit. We show her how to read the signs, but that's all. Right?"Mia gave me another apologetic smile. "Maybe. We'll just have to see how things go. I won't let her get hurt, but it will probably be more than just kissing."My bad feeling got worse. "I don't like it. I don't think we. All of these emotions, these visions build one on top of the other, until I am so overwhelmed in them that I wail with desire for some single, sharp, real pain to push me over the edge of what feels like dark orgasmic bliss. I don’t think about, I don’t desire, anything else, and sometimes I hold myself in this aching place for hours. Then he comes to me. He is the hero of my mind’s eye, tall and strong – sometimes thick and solid as an oak tree, sometimes lean and spry – always older and.
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